那么快的一个学期结束,另一个学期紧接着来了,就是两天后了。
这个新的学期是我一直期待的,期待的是可以见回上学期的朋友,
同时也逃离了家庭工作的约束。
这个学期对我来说是一个希望,很期待的希望着。
然而一个朋友突然说要转校,突然间将我的希望打碎了。
这个朋友对我来说很重要,几乎可以说是我的强心针,
有种没有了他我不能活的感觉,虽说即使没有了谁都能活。
我知道我很矛盾,但矛盾就是我的天性,
因为同时的,我也很害怕这个学期的到来。
我怕自己的成绩,我怕学费太贵,同时也怕很少机会接触到上学期的朋友。
对!我就是在逃避事情,我不能接受我不想让其发生的事情。
我知道我又掉入那种欲望的黑洞,它正在侵蚀着我的生活与思想!!
孤独与寂寞感天天都准时地在我要闭上眼睛的那一刻报到,
它们让我心跳加速,让我的脑袋充满着我不想看到的东西,
让我得不到平静,那种心灵的平静,而且日夜增加,一发不可收拾!
是我得了忧郁症吗?
还是一直压欲着的忧郁症又回来了?
我应该已经对这种感觉麻痹的,
可为什么现在又回到当初的感觉?
我不要!
我不要在回到这种欲望游戏!
我正在被自己的思想侵袭着!
是亲情,是友情。
这两个东西一直在我脑袋打转!
对友情,是思念。
对亲情,是恨!!
一向自以为很独立的我,其实很希望有一个死党,
或一个知心朋友,
但成为这类型的朋友都一一离我而去了。
留下的只有回忆与思念。
这个家对我来说只是一个睡觉的地方,
已经没有感情可言,因为曾经有过。
这些事情对我来说已经经历过很多次了,
可每一次来袭的时候,为什么都那么痛呢?
2011年7月23日 星期六
Mariah Carey Underneath The Star
One summer night
We ran away for a while
Laughing, we hurried beneath the sky
To an obscure place to hide
That no one could find
And we drifted to another state of mind
And imagined I was yours and you were mine
As we lay upon the grass there in the dark
Underneath the stars
Young love
Underneath the stars
Weak in the knees
Wrapped in the warm gentle breeze
So shy
A bundle of butterflies
Flushed with the heat of desire
On a natural high
As we drifted to another place in time
And the feeling was so heady and sublime
As I lost my heart to you there in the dark
Underneath the stars
Young love
Beautiful and bittersweetly
You were fading into me
And I was gently fading into you
But the time went sailing by
Reluctantly we said good-bye
And left our secret place so far behind
And I lay in bed all night and I was
Drifting drifting drifting drifting
And I was yours
And you were my own
My own baby
As we lay
As we...
Lay underneath the stars
We ran away for a while
Laughing, we hurried beneath the sky
To an obscure place to hide
That no one could find
And we drifted to another state of mind
And imagined I was yours and you were mine
As we lay upon the grass there in the dark
Underneath the stars
Young love
Underneath the stars
Weak in the knees
Wrapped in the warm gentle breeze
So shy
A bundle of butterflies
Flushed with the heat of desire
On a natural high
As we drifted to another place in time
And the feeling was so heady and sublime
As I lost my heart to you there in the dark
Underneath the stars
Young love
Beautiful and bittersweetly
You were fading into me
And I was gently fading into you
But the time went sailing by
Reluctantly we said good-bye
And left our secret place so far behind
And I lay in bed all night and I was
Drifting drifting drifting drifting
And I was yours
And you were my own
My own baby
As we lay
As we...
Lay underneath the stars
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