Time are very fast, faster as we can't imagine, I believe that there has a lord lead me the way, I found out that I already lost my way.
Sometime love can solve many problem, including the friendship, but I found out that i don't know how to solve my problem.
My life should be very smoothly, but I can't make it happen.
What happen in my deeply heart?
What happen in my little mind?
Looking at the mirror, that's me, that's still me!!!
But my heart and my mind are not mine, I just lost my spirit!!
I love my family, from now I try to love my family.
but I can't, I hate it, I try to love them, I force myself to love them, but I feel like I deceiving to myself, my family don't understand me, this is the result for I love them so much, they even don't care about what I'm thinking.
I want to do whatever I like, I want freedom, I love my life in collage, even though it is very busy life, because my classmate are very kindness and understanding, they are very willing to help, that is what I want in my life.
I don't want full of controlling in my life, I hate to do when I forcing by someone to do the job or work I hate about.
Why they just thinks university life are very relaxing?
Why they think I have a responsibilities to do the family business?
Why when i feel stressful and tell me that they will divorce soon even though this is impossible?
Parents should be don't let their children worries about their relationship, they don't know how hurt to hear it, they just think about themself, they don't even care about their children, I hate them very much.
What should I suppose to do now?
Am I have to let them go ahead?
Or let myself go ahead?
I can't imagine my future, I don't know how to face them when I meet them, I feel very uncomfortable, I'm afraid when they try to tell me or force me to do something that there are very hurt to me. They even don't believe me, what person I am they supposed to be very understanding.
What does that mean I change a lot when i starting my university life?
Am I look like a bad guy when I start my collage life?
Am I look very showing off when I start my collage life?
I haven't sleep many nights because of assignment, why they are thinking I just have fun?
You will have fun when you cannot sleep whole day because of rushing assignment?
Saturday and Sunday supposed to be my rest day, why I must doing that family job in my rest day?
Are they lack of workers?
I don't think so.
They think I am free this two day?
They think my course work are easy for me to handle?
They think I'm smart enough to exam?
This is what they thinking about.
The most funny things I ever heard about is School's study things are useless in real world.
I realize that real world is experience needed, but study in school are prepare for learning to gain experience for real world, therefore study in school are useless?
And why we need a school?
School is building for what?
Decoration of a city?
What a joke~~~!!!!!!
At this time I miss my little Jacky very badly,
my beloved dog Jacky, where are you now, I miss you so much, I know that day you are very hard, and I know this is all my fault, we bring you into our life, but we didn't care enough to take care you, untill you very ill, we don't know how to help you. When you gone, I cry many nights, Because I love you the most, but I can't help when you get ill, so that I let you go, untill you are rest in peace. I still can't accept that you are gone, that is all my fault, but I don't know what should I do.
Mariah Carey's song are here with me...
spread your wings and prepare to fly...
Butterfly..........

For Me For You For Everyone

二十岁，一个尴尬的年龄




一个一无所有却自命清高的年龄。


当我们吃父母的、喝父母的、花父母的血汗时，却还在为自己所谓的面子大摆宴席、招朋待友，为哥们的生日礼物不惜重金，为取悦男（女）朋友挖空心思的为此掏空腰包，想想，都花了二十年了，有自己赚的钱吗？


二十岁，你有什么？


青春？终究会成为回忆。


知识？太浅薄了。


美貌？换来的更多的是虚伪的感情与利益。


时间？这样想的人差不多都在挥霍时间。


爱情？那是一辈子的事，现在拥有的真实吗。


除了父母给的，还有什么值得我们去骄傲、炫耀？


在别人面前我们什么都不是，这很现实。


不要以为自己有多么了不起，在社会中，你连棵草都不是。


清高，抵得上一份工作吗？能让你吃好、喝好、住好吗？


不要以为端盘子洗碗、站超市、打扫卫生天生就不是你干的事，不要以为你天生就是拯救世界的料儿，日子是过出来的，不是想出来的。


二十岁了，该现实点了，放下清高的架子，折断幻想的翅膀，才会走的更精彩


二十岁，一个充满理想却过于富于幻想的年龄。


成功是经历了比别人更多的努力、付出、毅力、痛苦与艰辛后得到的，不是能幻想出来的。


即使天上有掉陷饼的事也不会砸到整天幻想的人


二十岁，一个涉世不深却自谓看透一切的年龄。


我们常常讽刺社会的肮脏、丑陋、腐败，自以为很纯洁，就浅薄的说出活在这样的世界很无奈的话。


热爱生命，不要只是处在大学的象塔中才说出这样的话，在当我们经历了社会的各种不纯洁时也要能说出这样的话。


二十岁，在大学中你看到的连社会中的一个角都抵不上。要想真正的看透人生，等你闭眼的那一刻才是看透了，好好活着才有看破红尘的一天。


二十岁，一个美好却又短暂的年龄。


这个时期是你精力最充沛、心灵最美好的季节，不要把它浪费在赚人眼泪的偶像剧中，你永远不会成为其中的女主角，不要梦想着一见钟情的遇到你的白马王子，这样的可能性比地球明天就灭亡的可能性还小。


有时间背起行囊出去走走吧，二十岁你看到的一切绝对和你以后在公司筹划的旅游中看到的不一样，看看外面的世界，别只是装到相册中，要装进心里。


多把眼球从电脑上挪开点，外面的世界更精彩，亲眼看到和在网上浏览是两码事。


“宅人”的生活会让人丧失生存的价值，趁现在多出去看看，好给以后老了走不动了留下回忆的东西呀。


二十岁，一个简单却又复杂的年龄。


不要过多的纠缠于过去的事，记住，真正的忘记不需要刻意。


无论是多么难以忘记的感情，不属于你了就不要使劲去强掰回来，强扭的瓜不甜，真理。


二十岁，不一定活的精彩，但千万要活的有自尊。尊严不值得为单纯的感情买单！


到了二十岁，就要找到除了爱情能使你双脚坚强的站立在这个大地上的东西！


二十岁，一个长大却没成熟的年龄。


这个时间，除了父母，没人认为你还只是一个孩子，没人会迁就你的错误，学会承担一切，你会发现那比一味的逃避强的多！


二十岁，需要用心去成长！






by特木薯